Christmas... don't get me started on Christmas.
Christmas is supposed to be this magical, glowing, effortlessly joyful time of year—but let’s be honest, it often comes with a whole bundle of pressures, expectations, emotional overwhelm, and a to-do list that seems to get longer no matter how many things you cross off. And for many people, it’s also a time when grief, loneliness, and memories of those we miss feel even heavier, because the world is busy celebrating while we’re quietly navigating our own emotional landscape.
It’s a lot. And it’s okay to say that out loud.
Let's talk about it because we never do.
The Pressure to “Make Christmas Perfect”
Every year, there’s this unspoken pressure that Christmas should look a certain way—like a perfectly decorated home, endless cheerful plans, gifts that feel thoughtful and meaningful, and a constant sense of togetherness and joy that is, realistically, almost impossible to maintain (and don't i know it).
And the tricky part?
So many of us feel responsible for delivering that “perfect Christmas feeling,” whether it’s for our children, our partners, our families, or even just to meet our own expectations.
Suddenly the season becomes less about connection and more about managing timelines, hopping around, budgets, emotions, and everyone’s needs at once. It’s no wonder stress levels skyrocket and emotional wellbeing takes a hit. Do you feel it?
The Weight of the Christmas “Shoulds”
Christmas comes with a long list of “shoulds,” and they can be incredibly loud, even when no one says them out loud.
You should be excited.
You should host.
You should travel.
You should see everyone.
You should spend more.
You should keep up traditions.
You should feel festive.
You should be fine.
And the thing about “shoulds” is that they create guilt on top of everything else.
They take an already busy season and layer it with this pressure to perform emotionally, socially, and financially—even when it doesn’t feel right for where you are in your life or in your heart.
The truth is:
You don’t have to do Christmas the way you’ve always done it.
You don’t have to pretend to be joyful if you’re grieving.
You don’t have to host if you’re overwhelmed.
You don’t have to attend every event if you’re burnt out.
You don’t have to say yes when your mental health needs a gentle no.
The “shoulds” don’t get to decide what your Christmas looks like—you do.
The Busyness That Leaves No Breathing Room
Christmas busyness is a unique kind of whirlwind—shopping, wrapping, planning, cooking, organising, travelling, hosting, working, childcare, and trying to keep up with normal life at the same time. Even the most emotionally grounded person can feel thrown off balance in December.
And while many Christmas traditions can be beautiful, they become overwhelming when they leave no room for stillness or self-care. Sometimes one of the kindest things you can do for yourself is slow down, simplify, and give yourself permission to rest.
Giving Yourself Permission to Feel What You Feel
Instead of forcing yourself to fit the Christmas mould, it can be incredibly healing to:
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be honest about how you’re feeling
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set boundaries (even if they feel uncomfortable at first)
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say no when it’s needed
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ask for support
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choose what genuinely brings comfort
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consider counselling or therapy if this season feels particularly heavy
Christmas doesn’t need to be an emotional performance.
It’s Okay If Your Christmas Looks Different This Year
Christmas doesn’t have to be big, loud, sparkling, or traditional.
It can be quiet, gentle, low-key, flexible, or intentionally simple.
It can be a year of scaling back, or creating new traditions that feel more aligned with your emotional capacity.
There’s no “correct” version.
Finding Small Moments of Peace
Peace doesn’t always arrive in big, festive moments—it often shows up in the smaller, quieter spaces:
a warm drink,
a slow morning,
a calming walk,
a soft conversation,
a moment of stillness.
Sometimes these gentle pauses bring more comfort than any celebration could.
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