Sleep... one of my favourite topics but also the most difficult to support people with.
"Have you tried getting more sleep?"
It's one of those pieces of advice that can feel frustrating to hear when you're struggling. After all, if you're lying awake worrying, feeling anxious, or waking up exhausted despite spending eight hours in bed, it's rarely that simple. Also not always easy for some.
But there is a reason sleep comes up so often in conversations about mental health and wellbeing.
Sleep affects almost everything. Our mood, our concentration, our patience, our ability to cope with stress, and even how we view ourselves and the world around us.
When we're sleeping well, life often feels that little bit easier to manage. When we're not, even small challenges can feel overwhelming.
Why Does Sleep Affect Our Mood?
Think about the last time you had a really poor night's sleep.
Perhaps you felt more irritable than usual. Maybe you found yourself snapping at people, feeling tearful, struggling to concentrate, or becoming overwhelmed by things that wouldn't normally bother you.
That's because sleep and mental health are closely connected.
While we sleep, our brains are busy processing emotions, storing memories, and helping us recover from the stresses of the day. Without enough rest, our emotional resilience can take a hit.
For people experiencing anxiety, stress, burnout, or low mood, poor sleep can make everything feel more intense.
The Vicious Circle of Anxiety and Sleep
One thing I often hear from clients is:
"I can't sleep because I'm anxious, but I'm more anxious because I'm not sleeping."
Unfortunately, anxiety and sleep problems often go hand in hand.
When our minds are busy worrying, overthinking, or replaying conversations from the day, it can be difficult to switch off. Then the lack of sleep leaves us feeling more emotionally vulnerable the next day, making anxiety feel even harder to manage.
It's an exhausting cycle, and one many people know all too well.
What to do?
-A bit of worry time before bed
-Get up and do something if you are laying there thinking or getting frustrated.
Can You Have Too Little Sleep?
Most of us know what this feels like.
Too little sleep can affect:
- Mood
- Memory
- Focus and concentration
- Stress levels
- Emotional regulation
- Physical health
When poor sleep becomes ongoing, people often report feeling constantly overwhelmed, emotionally drained, or unable to cope with everyday demands.
What About Too Much Sleep?
This is something people don't talk about as often.
Sometimes sleeping more than usual is exactly what we need. If you've been through a stressful period, been unwell, or are recovering from burnout, your body may simply be asking for more rest.
However, consistently oversleeping can sometimes be linked to depression, low mood, stress, certain medications, or other health conditions.
The key isn't judging yourself for how much you're sleeping. It's becoming curious about what your body might be trying to tell you.
We Don't All Need the Same Amount of Sleep
Social media often tells us there's a magic number of hours we should all be aiming for.
The reality is much more complicated.
Sleep needs vary depending on age, health, stress levels, lifestyle, neurodivergence, and individual differences.
Some people genuinely need more sleep than others. Some struggle with sleep because of anxiety. Others may find sensory sensitivities or a busy mind make it difficult to switch off.
Some days we might need more and some days less.
We know ourselves the best and know how many hours sleep we need.
Rather than comparing ourselves to other people, it can be more helpful to ask:
"Do I feel rested enough to function well during the day?"
Be Kind to Yourself- Stop Struggling!
If you're struggling with sleep, it's easy to become frustrated with yourself.
You might start worrying about how tired you'll feel tomorrow, how much you need to do, or why everyone else seems able to sleep when you can't.
But sleep isn't something we can force.
Often, improving sleep starts with reducing pressure, understanding what's contributing to the problem, and addressing the stress, anxiety, or emotional challenges that may be sitting underneath it.
One last thing:
Sleep is one of the foundations of good mental health (I personally think one of the biggest foundations), yet it's often the first thing we sacrifice when life gets busy.
If you're finding yourself struggling with poor sleep, anxiety, stress, burnout, or low mood, it may be worth looking beyond your bedtime routine and considering what else might be going on in your life.
Sometimes our sleeping patterns are telling us something important.
And sometimes having a space to talk about what's keeping you awake can be the first step towards finding some rest.
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