Let’s be real—some days it feels like your brain has 87 tabs open, all playing different music.
Whether you’re managing a household, showing up for work, caring for loved ones, organising birthday parties, remembering dentist appointments, or just being the emotional glue for everyone around you—that constant, quiet weight? That’s the mental load.
It’s real, it’s exhausting, and for many women, it’s invisible.
So… What Is the Mental Load?
The mental load refers to the behind-the-scenes planning, anticipating, and emotional labour many women take on. It’s not just doing the thing—it’s remembering the thing, noticing it needs doing, then doing it (or delegating it and checking it got done).
It’s…
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Thinking about what’s for dinner while you’re in a meeting.
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Noticing the toilet paper’s low and mentally scheduling a shop.
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Being the default parent when school calls.
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Managing your own emotions and making space for everyone else’s.
It’s the thinking about thinking. And it adds up—quickly.
Why Is It So Draining?
Because it’s relentless. The mental load isn’t something you “clock off” from. It lingers in the back of your mind, even in the quiet moments. That constant hum of responsibility wears you down over time and can lead to:
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Burnout
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Anxiety and overthinking
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Difficulty sleeping
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Low mood or irritability
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Feeling disconnected from your own needs
And here’s the kicker—it’s often invisible. From the outside, it might look like you’re “keeping it all together,” but inside, you might feel completely stretched.
“But I Should Be Able to Cope…”
Let’s just hit pause on that thought. You are human. Not a machine.
We live in a culture that glorifies doing, hustling, multitasking—and women are often expected to hold it all (with a smile). But just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You deserve support, not just applause for coping.
Reclaiming Your Mental Space
There’s no magic fix—but there are ways to lighten the load:
1. Name It
Sometimes just recognising, “I’m carrying too much” is the first step. You’re not imagining it. It’s a thing.
2. Delegate (Even If It Feels Awkward)
You don’t have to hold it all. Let go of some tasks. Ask for help. Say no. Boundaries are an act of self-care.
3. Write It Down
Journaling or brain-dumping your mental to-do list can get it out of your head and create a sense of calm.
4. Find Spaces That Are Just for You
That could be a walk, a quiet coffee, a class you love—or counselling. Somewhere you’re not needed. Just heard.
How Counselling Can Help
Therapy isn’t just for crisis. It can be a place to unpack the pressure you carry quietly, to reconnect with your own voice, and to find ways of coping that don’t involve running on empty.
At Your Space Counselling and Psychotherapy, I offer a calm, supportive space to breathe, reflect, and just be. No judgment. No pressure. Just your space.
Because you're more than the tasks you tick off. And you deserve to feel supported too.